OBUNGA

Obunga.

When I hear that word, I'm reminded of my terrible childhood that got maxied, lol. It all started on july 24, 2013. My friend showed me this very smokied picture of former president, barrack obama, resembling a roach creature from some sort of manga he was reading, claiming he made it. I was terrified, but at the same time, amazed by his fucking bestness in paint.net editing. Over time, I grew an addiction towards this photo, I wanted to show it to everyone. Eventually, I was known in school as the weird kid that was kid, srsly. Some people loved this obunga, some hated it. I hung copied photos of it inside of friends' lockers. It was beautiful seeing their faces after being surprised by obunga. One night, I was awoken up by a strange sound, coming from downstairs. I went to check out, and, before my very eyes, a tall, suit wearing figure was overshadowing me. It was obunga. He stared me down with those beady eyes. I began to scream, I ran for my room, hid under my bed so I don't get maxied. I hear the loud thomping getting louder and louder. Next to my bed, obunga is looking for me, screaming and screeching, sometimes letting out creepy words like "sans gaming". I wasn't discovered, and slept under my bed until the morning. When I woke up again, 100lol greeted me, saying: "your family got maxied weedied by a nigger named obunga". I screamed in shock, I ran downstairs. Their bodies were pulled apart, torn in half, and I cried asshole. I called the cops. After 30 minutes of waiting, the cops arrived at my door, saying: "Kid, killing is ill eagel, you are arrested for 129312489124 billion years for law breaking". I was left in a state of disbelief: "I didn't maxied my parents!", I shouted. "There's direct proof that you rigged the election of 2016, put your hands behind your back".

The judges didn't believe my story, they thought I was delusional, and insane, when I told them what I saw. They threw me in a mental institute. Later that month, for some reason, the doctors there, after observing my behaivour closely, concluded that infact, I did nothing, and I was freed. I tried to contact my friend, to talk about the picture, but I couldn't reach him. After going back to school, I was already known in the whole universe that I was the maxxer of my parents, and that I should see a clock, lol. No one believed me. It's painful going back to home every day, to an empty house, knowing you're known as a maxxer, and being haunted by obunga. After 2 years of being bullied in highschool for being a maxxer, I decided that it's best to move to another city. It was a fresh start, and I was showered with opportunities. Opportunities to have a better chicken run VHS (2004). Sadly, one of my classmates also happened to move in this city of zyhrllos, and spread the word about my "maxxings". For another 2 years, I felt like I should go see a clock, and die, lol. Everyone in the city avoided me, when I went to the grocery store, the clerk asked me: "Do you want to buy 2 packets of obunga, too? Delusional..". I went home with my 2 pieces of salami, ate them and cried asshole, this I know. Then I proceeded to vaccuum the universe, so I forgot about my clock seeing thoughts. On christmas eve, cops knocked at my door, and arrested me because the cat lady that lives next door accused me of zyhrllism. I got dragged to court, and me and the cat lady clashed it out, and it turned out I was innocent, and I didn't get arrested.

Now, my life is half fixed, i'm working a full time job as a professional shitposter in a company called yeah^2. I still feel like that every step of mine, every breath, every enjoyable moment is closely observed by obunga. I got maxied, and I can't change that. But it's okay, i've learnt how to live with obunga. I've learnt how to accept obunga. I summon him every night to maxied random noobs online, and it's fun. I don't need real friends, I have 2 best friends: Obunga™ and pineapple soon.