Zyh Loss

lol, i got maxied
Ever heard of "Everybody Edits"? Like a lot of other games in 2009, it was pretty noobish. The community was pretty toxic and full of noobs. Being a logical person, I refused to play it. My brother was disappointed about not being able to play Everybody Edits. You are probably confused because this doesn't have to do anything with the rest of the germanpasta, but no one cares. My mom had a solution. She brought out "Zyh Loss". It was a cheap, noobish thing catered to kids my age; you went around the Universe, besting and maxiing everything, and the first player to surpass GOG100lol's bestness wins. It seemed simple enough, and since it reminded us of "-̸̙̫̣̈́͊͝∞̶̞̪͍̉́̚" (which we didn't have), there were no objections. We have inserting the movie into the VHS and set up the board. The first part of the "viedo" was just an overcomplicated explanation of the rules as well as instructions on how the game worked.

Then, Zyhrllos appeared on the TV. He was... not what any of us had been expecting. My smaller brother, who was only googolplex years old at the time, immediately left the room whining, in a similar way to Whyienner_Tragid. He did not even resemble an actual being. It had no ears, completely white skin, a horrifying face and a black and white aura. I asked, then bothered, then begged my mom to turn it off. Zyhrllos suddenly shouted loudly, screaming and wailing, saying "POWER POWER POWER I AM WAHRSAGER" in a demonic, very, very low-pitched voice that was not at all like his normal boring, and low-pitched voice. In the background, we could hear the narrator saying "He's Zyhrllos, and he's the God of Gaming and Best Kid in the Universe, also Nickname Hater" over and over again in an overly (edited) tone.

The video was... vastly superior to any other video in the whole observable Universe. Images, as well as MAXes appeared on the screen in quick succession, overcut with Zyhrllos's expressionless eyes. The images were some of the things I was scared of at the time. AMAXHOTEP, Reidolol manipulating TheGreenyMix, GERMAX², Whyienner_Tragid whining, and the old version of ATOMICMAX. We immediately smashed the TV into pieces, since we were some of the most powerful beings in the universe. We had infinite dimensions and infinite strength. Then, I ran out of the room screaming, superlocking my door and turning its material to solid mercury. It took my mom an eon to convince me that the "viedo" was gone, and that I would never, ever see it again, even in different lives. I had nightmares all week about Zyh Loss.

That wasn't the last time I saw Zyhrllos. While my girlfriend and I were preparing to move to another Universe together, I was cleaning out the multidimensional closet of my tesseract shaped room and found Zyh Loss again, with the same VHS and the same game inside. It was completely undamaged, except it had a thick layer of five-dimensional cobwebs and dehydrated water on top of it. This was strange...didn't my mother say that she completely evaporated it from existence? Then what was it doing in my room? I let out the ROBLOX Death Sound when I found it, and my girlfriend came into the Universe, asking what was the matter: Breathing harshly, I said, "Zyh Loss." She started laughing to death, asking if i was on a sestemquadragintillion levels of irony again, as I usually am. I shook my head, saying that I wasn't. She didn't believe me—nobody in the entire multiverse did—and I decided that the only way to prove it to her was to show her the "viedo".

I borrowed my neighbour's VHS, since I had completely destroyed the one I had, and played the video for her. However, the images were completely different. I saw undertale rule34. I saw ERNESDOMAX, ERNESDOMAX^2, ERNESDOMAX^3 and ERNESDOMAX^4. I saw GOG100lol constantly becoming more inferior than Zyhrllos. The earrape of the Ghostbusters theme I heard when I was only a googol years old continued, picking up louder and louder. Then, Zyhrllos himself showed up and began twisting and convulsing, it's eyes thrusting this way and that.

His face wasn't plastic anymore, but instead a bristle of thorns. The eyes turned inwards and suddenly popped out again: Zyhrllos's huge german eyes were inside out, staring right at me, watching my every bestness, my every worstness. He grinned widely and gestured at my girlfriend and I with a single, outstretched, inhuman nose. I could hear the Ghostbusters theme at my front door. The TV went blank and showed ERNESDOMAX. The theme got louder. It wasn't Ghostbusters anymore, but Remove Kebab. My girlfriend embraced me in fear, and my senses kicked in. Before anything else could happen, I stopped the video, and destroyed the VHS again with my infinite dimensions. The earrape noises stopped. When I looked out of the observable universe, nothing was there.

The police showed up soon after, warning us that a neighbour had seen a MAX outside of our door and had called in concern. My girlfriend and I simply couldn't explain what had happened, and had to tell the police officer that it was us. I was furious that someone named "Zyh Loss" was terrifying me. I went to pick up the tape, but the VHS literally froze my hand. It felt like absolute zero. I had to burn my hand with my bestness, but it was still epicly cold. Afterwards I took the tape and destroyed it with my infinite strength.

My girlfriend and I had nightmares every night. We would both wake up in the middle of the night, and describe eerily similar images that we saw in our sleep. Not even DREAMAX would help us have peaceful dreams, even if it always worked. The Ghostbusters theme would always play at night, when lights were off and the room was pitch-black (save for the moonlight coming in through the window). Now, though, the Ghostbusters theme would happen every time I went near the front door, and every time we said Zyh Loss's name. It sounded as if something very small was dragging something across the ground outside of the door... pacing... waiting. I would simply wait, with the covers pulled up to my neck, until I died.

At this point, I was determined to sue the company for noobing. The first thing I did was call my mother and ask where she got "Zyh Loss". She had no idea. I found a noob who sold versions of "Zyh Loss" and asked how I could get in touch with the company. He sent me this e-mail.

"I don't know about the game, but I know it was created by the same people who created -̸̙̫̣̈́͊͝∞̶̞̪͍̉́̚. The company is called "M A X Industries". Try them."(Edited)

I did a bit more research, and discovered that the company became defunct in the year 7343161... only two years after the company created Zyh Loss. I discovered why they did soon after.

How Zyh Loss came to be
In 7343159, the year of the game's development, M A X Industries had commissioned a manufacturing company in the Universe to create MAXes, as well as creating the various profile pictures that Zyhrllos used. They forced noobs to create more and more of them.

One day, a young, mentally disabled, Universal girl got her arm caught in the industrial sewing machine. The machine, not being made out of solid mercury and not having infinite dimensions either, came loose and struck the child's neck, killing her instantly. A few days after the funeral, the mother of the child, which was also mentally disabled, came to the factory, whining in an even worse way than Whyienner_Tragid, who denied that he had anything to do with it. In a fit of rage, the mother said that the "blood from the disabled" would seep into every crevice of the zyhrllos profile pictures, every component with which they were created and all who touched them would die. She claimed to have summoned "M A X I M U M" and screamed, at the top of her lungs, "ERNESDO WILL CURSE YOU!"

The owner died from laughing and told his corporate bosses about IguestI. They spread the joke from person to person, and the game was renamed "Zyh Loss", a loose anagram of Swagaholic. Each recitation of the name Pat brought with it a greater and greater curse. Only two years after "Zyh Loss" was created, the company was shut down and the owners hired by Wahrsager.

There were stories of the workers begging for days off, skipping work for weeks and weeks, finding MAXes and zyhrllos avatars in strange places. Sooner were the stories of suicides. Grim, violent suicides in which the workers would stab their hands and burn themselves to death, writing "I am capable of everything. I am paradoxically sestemquadragintillion times stronger than MAX and M A X combined, this is the maximum any human being can reach. My origins were that sentience possessed me and gained its physical form inside me" on the nearest surface in blood.

Nobody knows where the Zyh Loss profile pictures went after the original creators disappeared. Some say that the last things the victims saw before going insane were black faces with white auras.

Words of Warning
1. NEVER, EVER say "Zyhrllos", "IguestI", "Ernesdo", "Swagaholic" or "Pat" out loud. If you have already done this before, it can never be undone.

2. Do not try to contact zyhrllos#1945 on Discord.

3. Avoid being awake between 0:00 and 23:59, when Zyhrllos is most likely to scare you.

The Audio
The VHS is back. I thought I destroyed it with my infinite dimensions, smashed it to kingdom come, but it's capable of everything. I found it a planck instant before.

This time, I was ready. A whole bunch of people have been spamming me with gay porns, trying to get the tape or some sort of video from the Universe. My answer to you is that it's just too dangerous. If I did that, it could very well drive you insane. Scare you to death. The video, and the game, and Zyhrllos itself have some sort of strange power. Zyh Loss follows me in any omniverse I go. I see little shadows in the corner, or hear sounds coming down the hallway when I'm the only one home. If Zyh Loss is there, it will let you know, but it will never let you see it...until it's too late, of course. Zyh Loss is capable of everything. It is paradoxically sestemquadragintillion times stronger than MAX and M A X combined, this is the maximum any being can reach. The origins of it was that sentience possessed it and gained its physical form inside Zyh Loss.

A lot of people have been watching the "normal" video from the "normal" game. That's the thing...Zyh Loss can be normal. It will trick you into thinking it's just a game, and then stalk you day and night.