Negative Iq Gang

It was yesterday, me and my friend, zyhrllos, were playing luxor 2, a match-3 quick reaction game. Everything was going smoothly until we took some alcohol, we were losing and having tons of fun, despite there being some dead people covered in vomit on the floor, nobody was paying attention other then the computer screen we were playing luxor on. After some pointless drunken attempts on finishing level 1-1, we proceed and make it to level 1-2.

Game fucking crashes, one of dead people punches the computer and we all shit on the monitor. One of the people, whose name is David, calls tech support and gets computer completely locked down despite the fact we already couldnt access it due to broken monitor. David tries to replace processor with a potato, because he is an epic engineer but despite his efforts, the processor was already a potato, this was all fake and few drunk people were just sitting, shitting and punching a potato after all. One of my friends, zyhrllos, shits and punches the potato, potato is covered in sticky brown substance, fuck it, everything is covered in sticky brown substance.

David, being furious due to this, throws the shitted potato through a window, landing inside a car that has driven past with an open window whose driver is using a phone. The potato perfectly hits its head and now the driver is a potato. The car continues to drive for 5 nanometers till it crashes into a nearby twin towers.

Zyhrllos, using his 10^100^100 zloty, buys a new computer, which actually works. From people that looked at us through windows, we appeared like first caveman seeing fire. I suddenly hibernate for 3 months and give birth to 1,800,000 10 picometer human beings which all just fucking died the moment i woke up and Got up my legs. My friends were also covered in 10 cm layer of ashes because 10000 meters from our house a gigavolcano Erupted and killed everything in 1000000 kilometer radius. Basically i turn on the computer and turn it off because alcohol is now permanent in my bloodstream despite the fact here i am, like completely sober writing this story. *hics, metaphorically*. Zyhrllos proceeds to kill david when David has already killed himself. David ctrl+z on nowhere and kills GreenyMix instead. Due to server lag david still dies and so does greeny, lol./////// 😢 (Lmao first emoji i ever used in a germanpaste). Zyhrllos using black magic revives David, and so his death dies. David turns on pc in safe mode, and it boots into safe mode, zyhrllos also turns on the pc and this is fucking retarded ew why would you turn on a computer ew (Made with strikethrough letter generator™). "Lol, my internet is pydaras!" - says zyhrllos.

Zyhrllos opens google chrome and searches for LUXOR DOWNLOAD, despite piratebay being down, we find some shady sites. Zyhrllos doesnt trust them and David suggests site where he finds his games. This is illegal so we go and buy legal copy of luxor instead, supporting the developers which bringed many hours of joy playing this game (not even passing 1-2). David burns the money mistaking it with greenymix's Corpse. "NOOB" - Says zyhrlloS. And he starts the gmae* (* - game). We are welcomed by a screen that cannot be skipped. Due to 12 character limit, we choose to name this account "ofiqwerjfoiw", which probably doesn't stand for "Obnoxious fucking intelligent quarry well reductor just for our idiotic will", or maybe it does, who knows!

We, all 3 of us holding the same mouse, click play. Then david fucking throws pc out of the window (Defenestrates). Zyhrllos tries to kill david for that but he already jumped out the window and didnt suffer any major damages because its a 1 floor house that is fucking disgusting why do we even live here. Zyhrllos rewinds last 3 actions, unthrows pc from the window fixes the computer Despite the fact there is nothing to fix. Due to EPIC fixing the louxor is uninstalled and the disk literally snaps in half despite we are 45.31415 meters away from it.

Computer gets BSoD (Blue soda of doom), so zyhrllos fucks the computer. Its pregnant now. We proceed to stare at the wall for 9 months until the mechanical Zyhrllos x Windows 3.0 abomination is born. Zyhrllos spams it with zyhrllos the moment it was born, what a wonderful miscarriage! Babby dies. Zyhrllos goes to local music store to buy POLYGONAWANALAND album by kgatlw. But, zyhrllos isnt allowed because he is only wearing his weekend diapers (which he didnt change for 1 year since the start of this story). He also has 9 random diseases i just gave him by writing this sentence. Zyhrllos isnt calling the police while the owner of the music store is.

Zyhrllos tells them "kurwa ja pierdole za chwile rozpierdole te jebane pierdolone gowno wypierdole przez przerdolone okno z 20 pietra i rozpierdole na 1000 kawalkow i wypierdole w chuj kurwa jebana ja pierdole idz sie zabij kurwo fuck fuck this im going to fuck up this fucking fucking shit throw it the fuck outta this fucking window from 20th floor and fucking smash it into 1000 pieces and fucking throw it out fucking shit fuck go kill yourself faggot putain fuck ceci je vais foirer cette putain de merde la lancer sa mère de cette putain de fenêtre du 20ième étage et la niquer en 1000 morceaux et la niquer putain de merde calisse va te suicider esti de gai اللعنة يمارس الجنس مع هذا ايم الذهاب إلى اللعنة هذا سخيف سخيف اللعنة القرف عليه اللعنة وتا هذه النافذة الداعر من الطابق ال 20 والداعر سحق ذلك إلى 1000 قطعة وسخيف رميها بها اللعنة اللعنة اللعنة تضيع نفسك šūdas šūdas tai im vyksta šūdas šūdas sušikti šūdas mesti jį fuck outta šio sušikti langą nuo 20 aukšte ir sušikti smash jį į 1000 vienetų ir sušikti mesti jį sušikti šūdas šūdas eiti nužudyti save pydaras ファックファックこのイムをファックするこのクソクソをファックする20階からこのクソ窓の外にファックを投げるとクソ1000ピースにそれを粉砕し、クソそれを投げるクソたわごとファックあなた自身を殺す行く"

The universe suddenly ceases to exist, because of Jon not giving Lasaga to garfield. "Epic" - says zyhrllos, "yes" - reply. "i am dead" - says david because universe ceased to exist n seconds ago (time doesnt exist without an universe, fun fact for today). "this whole germanpasta could be turned into a germanpasta" - says zyhrllos. I dont agree because i am already writing this paragraph and zyhrllos dies because its way too meta for his liking. David revives zyhrllos and zyhrllos revives david. "wouldn't it be a bit too short" - says zyhrllos. I shrug and smile and grow pair of biological plastic that is translucent to let light from our star, sun, pass through my eyes traveling 1 AU or 8 minutes 30 seconds. "lol, you still didnt do it" says zyhrllos n months later. "yes" - i reply.

Suddenly universe exists again because i wrote so, it turns out, writing anything here can influnce the story the way i want, because you know, thats how books/texts work! 600 seconds later we go to our broken house with skeletons from 1 + n years ago. We dont clean everything up and make some neat furniture. We also constructed an amazing device called "childhood" which allows you to be slightly more retarded for the price of negative fun! (if you pay with negative fun that means you gain some). Greenymik, despite being super fucking dead gets all the childhood possible and gets noble peace trophy for being least harmful idio t ever. After 1 + n years, we finally pass level 1-2! (since the start of this story). But we still have around 80 levels to cover so see you next week when we will probably die several times by floating in middle of a planet in vast majority of space. Bye!